Fifteen Key Jokes EPRDF wanted to send to Oromia and the Oromo People in the name of the dubious “Special Interests Proclamation”
The EPRDF jokes start with the following preamble:
Dr. Berhanemeskel Abebe Segni
As the result of the huge sacrifices paid by the Oromo people and the Oromo youth over the last two years during the #OromoProtests, the gracious Ethiopian government and the Apartheid City of Addis Ababa will allow the Oromo people and the Oromia Regional State the following special interests as enshrined under Article 49(5) of the Constitution of Federal Democratic Republic of Ethiopia.
The Fifteen key jokes the EPRDF government of Ethiopia want the Oromo people to heed and live with are the following:
1. Addis Ababa is not and will not be part of Oromia Regional State. Similarly, the Oromo people have no rights or claims on Addis Ababa.
2. Addis Ababa is not and will not be the capital city of Oromia Regional State. However, the Oromia Regional State may rent office building or build one office in Addis Ababa without claiming Addis Ababa as its capital city.
3. Oromia Regional State, like the Ethiopian Diaspora and foreign investors (chinses, Indians, Turks and Arabs etc), may get lease free land for an office building when Addis Ababa city administration so decides.
4. Oromia Regional State employees, not other Oromos, will have the right to rent a condominium in Addis Ababa. However, the Oromo people including the Oromia Regional State employees will not have the right to build or rent a house in Addis Ababa.
5. Employees of Oromia Regional state will have the right to send their kids to Afaan Oromo primary schools yet to be built modeled on the celebrated American Jim Crow rules of “separate but not equal” education policy of Addis Ababa City Administration. Addis Ababa will send its high-level delegation around the world to gain more experiences on how to implement this new form of apartheid policy.
6. Oromo nationals who were forcefully evicted from their ancestral land in Addis Ababa will not have any right of return to Addis Ababa to reclaim their history and ancestral land.
7. Oromo refugees and immigrants in Addis Ababa will get basic social services in Afaan Oromo if they don’t speak or understand Amharic.
8. Oromia Township residents around Addis Ababa will have limited access to the health services of Addis Ababa City Administration.
9. Addis Ababa will allow Oromo township residents the right to use Addis Ababa taxi, bus and train services.
10. Oromo township resident youth will have the right to work as the day laborer in Addis Ababa. But, all Oromo township youth working as a day laborer in Addis Ababa should and must leave the city before sunset.
11. Addis Ababa shall have the right to evict and dispossess the Oromo people including those in the townships surrounding Addis Ababa of their land and natural resources anywhere and whenever Addis Ababa needs additional land and additional resources. However, Addis Ababa may allow Oromo township residents to drink from the dispossessed waters and use other resources whenever Addis Ababa gives them that rights at its own free will. Addis Ababa also may allow Oromo township residents to walk on the roads Addis Ababa may build to exploited Oromo resources and dispossess Oromo lands.
12. The Oromia Regional State has the obligation to persuade and evict Oromo farmers and residents in Oromia Townships from their lands and natural resources anywhere and at any time in order to implement the “development by dispossession and wealth transfer from the poor to the rich policy” of Addis Ababa City Administration.
13. Addis Ababa will not have any border or boundary until it fully incorporates the entirety of Oromia regional state under its Administration, and fully and completely dismantled the so call Oromia Regional State with its hated language and people. To accomplish this core purpose, Addis Ababa City Administration will expand in any direction at its own free will whenever and wherever they see a land to be dispossessed and a resource to be exploited.
14. Oromia Regional State will continue to serve as the waste disposal back yard of Addis Ababa City Administration until all the Oromo people will die of environmental contamination, and Oromia rivers, lakes, springs, forests, and farmlands are no more.
15. Last but not least, the Oromia Regional State will implement all laws, decrees, and directives issued by Addis Ababa City Administration including the Addis Ababa Master Plan diligently and with utmost dedication as loyal and faithful servant that it is!
Could someone tell them, their jokes attracted no audience! What a shame!